We’ve all had one or more sexual experience where we’ve hooked up by having a self-identified “straight” man.

While I’m unbelievably hesitant to call these men “straight” instead of closeted homosexual or bisexual, in my opinion there can be some reasons why self-identified “straight” men do have sexual relationships along with other men. Frankly, I’m not quite certain that this means these males are or aren’t straight. While one of the the largest factors of sexuality is the real acts that are sexual take part in, identity is more complicated than whom we screw, and our actions are merely one factor that contributes to our sexual identity. But having said that, as an individual who is bisexual (and stated being directly while starting up with men for 5 years), I additionally know the power of self-deception, deep-rooted homophobia/biphobia that is internalized confusion, and also the anxiety about using the labels “bisexual” and “gay.”

All of that said, here are 17 reasons“straight that is self-identified guys hook up with other dudes.

1. They’re into the closet

So let’s focus on the absolute most most likely and obvious description that I became touching on into the introduction. These guys are actually closeted bisexual or gay, but are way too afraid of queer labels, and aren’t ready to acknowledge to themselves or others which they really aren’t directly.

2. It reaffirms their straightness

In Jane Ward’s perhaps Not Gay: Sex Between Straight, White guys, she explores an irony deeply-rooted in same-sex sexual encounters among “straight” males. She claims that a man that is straight sex along with other men “reaffirms their straightness” by showing that they’re comfortable with their right sex, enough therefore to sleep with other men.

3. It isn’t considered gay until you bottom

In some Latin American cultures, you are not considered homosexual if you’re the dom/top/receive dental (activo). You’re only homosexual if you’re a more man that is feminized bottoms or gives blowjobs (passivo).

4. Drag queen intercourse

I am aware of a few fishy queens ( a person who can pass as female whenever in drag) whom sleep with right dudes, as with any the time that is damn. It’s pretty ridiculous. Now, these queens identification as homosexual men ( perhaps not women that are trans, but since they look feminine (and gorgeous) in drag, numerous “straight” men sleep using them.

5. They can’t distinguish between emotional and real intimacy

Many straight males are desperate for deep, emotional connections with other males. They’ve been socialized to trust if they do desire deep connections with other men they’re Saint Paul dating ideas gay or feminine that they don’t need meaningful male connections, or that. Then when they have a deep, emotional experience of another guy, they are able to get confused that they, themselves, must be gay by it, thinking. This may cause sex between two friends, however the truth for the matter is, they’re not physically drawn to each other; they’re just confused by their psychological intimacy with another guy but because we live in a culture where emotional intimacy between two straight guys is indeed uncommon. As a result of this, their relationship evolves into intercourse, with regards to really shouldn’t have. They actually are right and friends that are platonic.

6. Hazing

While there’s been a crackdown on hazing in many universities, fraternities constantly figure out ways to get around it. Hazing the most homoerotic and strange rituals done by “straight” men. “Pledges, chug this bottle of Tabasco. Oh, and also suck these guys’ d*cks.”

7. Curiosity

Curiosity not merely kills the pet, it’s just what gets self-identified “straight” men to rest along with other males. Basically, they would like to understand what all of the hassle is mostly about, despite the fact that they’re perhaps not physically or emotionally interested in other males. They’re also comfortable sufficient within their straightness to know that into it, they’re not gay or bi if they explore sexually with another man once, and realize they’re not super.

8. Situational circumstances

In places where women can be scarce, there are many “straight” males who sleep with other males. This consists of all men’s boarding schools, the army, and of course, prison. (Although in prison, it may often be non-consensual as well as an act of violence, energy, and dominance.)

9. It is just like a fetish

Having a same-sex encounter that is sexual considered taboo, gross, or deviant by more and more people on earth. Because of this, having relationships that are same-sex nearly seem like a fetish to “straight” males who like doing deviant things intimately during sex. It’s a fetish that is extreme no doubt, by the emotional known reasons for “straight” guys resting with another guy could possibly be regarded as similar to the fetish of tying someone up and peeing to them. Both are viewed by the “straight” guy as deviant by heteronormative culture.

10. They’re actually interested in guys, however emotionally

Lots of men are physically drawn to males, yet not emotionally attracted. While this could be as a result of internalized homophobia/biphobia (meaning they just can’t admit it to themselves) this is isn’t always the case that they actually are both physically and emotionally attracted to other men. We understand that physical and emotional attraction, while associated, are in reality two distinct entities. Even though these men are bisexual, for their real attraction to other males, they nevertheless view on their own as straight because they’re not emotionally attracted to other guys or looking to date another man.